Flowers

Wow, I just realized that I really do not know what my favorite flowers are. Different people are convinced that I like different flowers, but at this point I wouldn't really be able to make a choice. I was convinced I liked daisies, then I switched to sunflowers, but today my mom seemed convinced I adore tulips. Actually recently I was amazed by calla lilies, but then when I had to choose, I picked tulips. Omg, my mom knows my tastes better than me?????!!!!!!

Losers....

Self-Confidence

I do not really know why people insist saying that we should all be very self-confident. Isn't it too easy in that way? Isn't it that if we are really sure of our value, we are not open enough to criticism? How do we know what our value is? How can people know what our real value is?

Everything

"When they asked me what I wanted to be I said I didn’t know.
"Oh, sure you know," the photographer said.
"She wants," said Jay Cee wittily, "to be everything."
— Sylvia Plath (The Bell Jar)

Sylvia Plath

Really, I've never been happier.
And I've never written more. 
It's as if...                   
now he's gone, I'm free.                    
I can finally write.                   
I wake up between four and five 
'cause that's the worst time,                    
and I write till dawn.                   
I really feel like God 
is speaking through me. 

Sylvia Plath

Eyes

Since when I was a child I always had difficulties to feel really present in any situation. I do not know how to explain it, but it is always as if I could not fully live the present. Somehow I become an external viewer and I look at others living. I try to check if other people do what I do by looking at their eyes: People's eyes seem so transparent, so fully focused on the present moment. I wonder how my eyes look, I am pretty sure that if people looked carefully they could understand that I am not there. A few nights ago something similar happened. It was really extraordinary to see my closest friends around a table talking and laughing. I did not even manage to say a word, I just enjoyed looking at them. I had around me people that have been close to me and that have supported me in the most incredible way. In my quest for quality I found them, and I could not be more thankful. I do not know what is gonna happen to us or if we will be able again to sit all together around a table, but I am really sure I will always keep that night in my heart.

Snow

Today the first snow of the season. It was just a bit, but so nice. Every time there is snow my dad gets excited and I get excited too. Did you know that if you look at the sky while it is snowing you feel like flying? Last year my RinTinTin saw the snow for the first time and he was like hypnotized. I wonder if he remembers that he already saw this white thing dropping from the sky.

Six characters in search of an author

Recently I was thinking about this passage from a book written by Pirandello:

But don't you see that the whole trouble lies here. In words, words. Each one of us has within him a whole world of things, each man of us his own special world. And how can we ever come to an understanding if I put in the words I utter the sense and value of things as I see them; while you who listen to me must inevitably translate them according to the conception of things each one of you has within himself. We think we understand each other, but we never really do. Look here! This woman takes all my pity for her as a specially ferocious form of cruelty.

Actually I do not know if I am more concerned about our inability to understand each other or if the real issue is our ability to translate feelings into words. Are we really sure that what we say is consistent with what we feel? In my mind I imagine that there is a space (world) for feelings and a space (world) for words. Do we really think that there is a biunivocal correspondence between the feeling space and the word space? Is it really possible to easily jump from one world to the other?

Io Yogo, Tu Yoghi, Egli Yoga

I find it interesting to think about the relationship between concentration, yoga and relaxation.

Typically when we want to relax we go to yoga, but I realized that actually it is not that easy to do yoga when you are under stress. If you keep thinking about your problems during yoga, you will never be able to do the poses in the right way. Breathing should help find the right concentration, but I still have to learn how to do . During class instructors say: "Get rid of all your thoughts, just be". I thought we were, exactly because of our thoughts. Is there anything else beyond them?

However, today was a very special day. For the first time I did the wheel!!!!!I consider it as a big big achievement. I was ready to bet that I would never be able to do it, and instead it happened!!It happened at the end of my yoga class: I felt that I was warm enough and so I decided to give it a try. It took me some concentration, some courage and some strength, but suddenly puff: I was up there!!!And it was really really beautiful. So beautiful that I started shouting my friend's name because I really wanted someone to double check if everything was correct. And apparently it was! Happy!

Mary Poppins!

The title of this blog comes from this: